Saturday, December 6, 2008

It's a silly time to learn to swim when you start to drown

I don't feel like I'm capable of doing anything anymore.

Thursday, December 4, 2008

to the person in the bell jar...

I have so much shit to do and I can't bring myself to do any of it. I'm not sure if I even care anymore. I just want all of this to be over and done with. I really don't like college. I'm basically failing every one of my classes right now and I know next semester isn't going to be any better. The only thing that's making me want to try and fix this is knowing that if I get kicked out, I have to go back home. And I'm not letting that happen. So I really don't know what to do. I've never been good with schoolwork, so I'm not sure what made me think I could make it through college. I have no motivation whatsoever, except for the fact that I would probably want to kill myself if I had to go back home, but that's still not enough to make me want to put more effort into my classes. I just really do not care anymore. I feel so...stuck. I feel like everything and everyone around me is going by so fast and I'm just here. I feel like I'm stuck under glass watching everyone else.

"To the person in the bell itself is a bad dream"
- Sylvia Plath.